The Universe Defined

This may seem harsh. More accurately, this will seem harsh. Unfortunately "harsh" and "truth" are often willing bedmates. You don't generraly hear someone sitting a person down and giving them the "gentle truth" or the "soft, comfortable, boy I'd like to just snuggle up to it and spoon on the couch, truth". No, it's always the "harsh truth". It's part of being cruel to be kind. Don't be tactful to be kind (God forbid) or thoughtful or even apathetic - no be cruel. Anyway, this is the way I feel about existence when I really sit down and think about it. None of it is certainly true, but in all likelihood it is and that's depressing as hell. Anyway here goes.

(1) There's no God, gods, heaven, hell, afterlife period. The only thing that makes people believe any religion is the self-delusion that there's a point to all this. Is there a point for rocks or hydrogen elements? Are they going to have some kind of paradise one day? Fuck no. Same for us I'm afraid - start dealing with it.

(2) There's no love. Chemicals react. All of our behavior, our highs, our lows, our boring bits in the middle, all of it is a chemical reaction. Your parents don't love you - their genes (with the help of a few million years of evolution) have created a being that can survive long enough to pass new genes onwards. Love, affection, loyalty, etc, are all tricks of genes and society working together to keep us fucked from day one onwards.

(3) I hate to have to point this out, but I live in America so it's not as pointless as it seems. There are no fucking advanced intelligent lifeforms just waiting behind a bush for the opportunity to prod your ass for shits and giggles (so to speak)! The government is not harbouring aliens for research! Nobody shot Kennedy (well scratch that last one). Elvis and Tupac are both dead. Astrology, alchemy, voodoo and feng shui are all stupid, stupid, stupid ideas that noone living in the 21st century should do anything more than sneer at. Sushi is disgusting. Would early man have bothered discovering fire if he knew that his descendants would just sit around and eat raw fish regardless?!

(4) Evolution happened. The Big Bang happened. The universe is a big, weird, physical, existential anomaly. There are not turtles all the way down, no other universes next door and there's sure as shit no special place where good people go when they die. And even if there was, there'd be no virgins there (they must be thinking "Oh, so this stinky old man gets to bang away at existence for a century or so, while I'm sitting up here waiting for his wrinkly todger to finally make me a woman. Good deal.").

(5) Dogs rule - they are (on the whole) loyal, fun, affectionate and always happy to see you. Cats are evil - they will betray you in a second, won't do shit if a burglar breaks in, and you know they really hate you deep down in inside.

You know how people say "Life sucks and then you die?" Life doesn't suck - it doesn't do anything. Life is, we are and that's that.