Nonificent - the word the world forgot
Nonificent. Say it a couple of times. Out loud, please. Noone's going to look at you - just say it.
There - beautiful word, isn't it? You may well be shocked to know (and, please - do sit down before you read this next part): "nonificent" is not a word. Nor, most likely, will it ever be a word. Humanity (or hufannity if you're feeling PC) will live out its days lacking a precise antonym for magnificent. It's a tragedy, but one perpetrated not just by the apathy of the general population. More sinister by far are the motives of the most Big Brother-esque of organizations in today's society - Merriam Webster.
As Mr. Orwell would have gleefully (gleelessly is also not a word, as much as it breaks my heart to say) pointed out, newspeak is alive and well in the form of the most innocuous of books: the dictionary. Every year we receive update after update about words that have made it into the glorious English language. But who gets to decide which words go in? You guessed it - a few fat CEOs getting kickbacks every time a newspaper or television show talk about "googling" or "blogging". And where are the notices of the removed words? Tucked away in the farthest corner of the sharpest shredder in town, I'm sure.
In my humble opinion (even phrases aren't safe - can't I have a proud or even boastful opinion?), there should be a word obituary published annually that would allow the public to see what kinds of words the goodly, godly men of Merriam-Webster have decided are just too dang old for us to use any more. Well, gee, thanks Mr. Merriam, Mr. Webster. I'd hate to have to use the gooey thing located centrifically (both centred and terrific - I defy anyone to explain how that's not a word) between by ears to decide which words I can and can't use.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for a little spring-cleaning of words - after all, the word nice should never be allowed to be viewed by children again. I do think, though, that we should all (or at least those of us who give a good goddamn) have a say in which words come and which words go.
Therefore, I scream unpeaceably: Sod Merriam-Webster; the world's most nonificent publication to date.
Nonificent. Say it a couple of times. Out loud, please. Noone's going to look at you - just say it.
There - beautiful word, isn't it? You may well be shocked to know (and, please - do sit down before you read this next part): "nonificent" is not a word. Nor, most likely, will it ever be a word. Humanity (or hufannity if you're feeling PC) will live out its days lacking a precise antonym for magnificent. It's a tragedy, but one perpetrated not just by the apathy of the general population. More sinister by far are the motives of the most Big Brother-esque of organizations in today's society - Merriam Webster.
As Mr. Orwell would have gleefully (gleelessly is also not a word, as much as it breaks my heart to say) pointed out, newspeak is alive and well in the form of the most innocuous of books: the dictionary. Every year we receive update after update about words that have made it into the glorious English language. But who gets to decide which words go in? You guessed it - a few fat CEOs getting kickbacks every time a newspaper or television show talk about "googling" or "blogging". And where are the notices of the removed words? Tucked away in the farthest corner of the sharpest shredder in town, I'm sure.
In my humble opinion (even phrases aren't safe - can't I have a proud or even boastful opinion?), there should be a word obituary published annually that would allow the public to see what kinds of words the goodly, godly men of Merriam-Webster have decided are just too dang old for us to use any more. Well, gee, thanks Mr. Merriam, Mr. Webster. I'd hate to have to use the gooey thing located centrifically (both centred and terrific - I defy anyone to explain how that's not a word) between by ears to decide which words I can and can't use.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for a little spring-cleaning of words - after all, the word nice should never be allowed to be viewed by children again. I do think, though, that we should all (or at least those of us who give a good goddamn) have a say in which words come and which words go.
Therefore, I scream unpeaceably: Sod Merriam-Webster; the world's most nonificent publication to date.
posted by Dazza McTrazza at 7:24 AM
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